The internet has provided us with plenty of examples of what NOT to do when attempting to pick someone up via Twitter, Facebook, or Nearmegirls.com…but by abiding by a few simple rules, one can easily make an impression on a social media crush. Read on and listen up:
Be Relevant
Rather than using a cheesy pickup line, or aggressively asking for a date right off the bat, open with commentary on a topic of which you have a shared understanding. For example, you can start by responding to something she said about a particular band you both like. Once you’ve piqued her interest and proven that you have something to offer, it will be much easier to gradually segue into a more flirtatious exchange. Just be sure you know what you’re talking about; confusing Azealia Banks with Iggy Azalea will only prove your lack of pop music knowledge (and that you also might be — quite literally — color blind).
Be Brief
Fast-paced social media discourse requires participants to stay nimble. Short, witty messages will keep a person on his or her toes, and will hopefully lead to excitement (not necessarily the kind that manifests in a person’s pants…yet). Brief correspondences will also not only prevent the other person from getting bored, they will prevent you from looking desperate. Nothing is worse than filling up a person’s screen with 16 consecutive Tweets about your life story leading up to the moment you found them. At best, you’ll come off as The Loneliest Man on Earth – at worst, a serial killer.
Message Privately
On Twitter, a direct message is better than a public reply — just as a private message on Facebook is more likely to get you a response than a wall post will (and don’t you dare “poke”).
Conversing privately will allow a guy or girl to speak freely with you without concern of other people reading what he or she has to say, or knowing that that he or she will respond to unsolicited messages in the first place. If you don’t yet have the capability of privately messaging someone (e.g. he or she doesn’t yet follow you back on Twitter), then take the time to try to earn this privilege before moving forward.
Keep The Creep To Yourself
Especially on photo-based sites such as Instagram or Snapchat, far too many men make the mistake of coming on too strong in a frantic attempt to grab attention amidst a sea of other potential suitors. As I’ve alluded to before, if your witty one-liner is something you would never have the balls to say to a woman in person, assume she won’t be stoked to hear it from a stranger over the internet. As much as you’d like to “Instagrab her hot butt in that pic!”, telling her so will only result in a blocked account.
Get Offline As Soon As Possible
Much as you want to do when using a dating app, try to get away from interacting via the website and exchange contact info as soon as possible. Ideally, you should attempt to obtain a phone number to engage in a voice conversation whenever an opening presents itself. If you don’t keep the momentum going by getting the conversation off of a text-based format, it will die a boring, one-sided death in social media purgatory: “And those are 50 of my favorite cat videos on YouTube. So tell me, what kind of cats do YOU like? …Hello? ……..Hello?”