We all have people in our lives where we can only do certain things with them; For example, you only feel uncomfortable when your grandmother is in town and you don’t go out to the disco with your stepmother. The world simply does not work that way, and it is important to know the limits of your relationships with your friends.
But what about the fucking friends? What are the relationship guidelines for that?
I’ve been seeing this guy for about seven months, it seems he keeps things informal in a science. We go out once every three weeks, have dinner/drink, have sex, take separate paths. There is no contact between dates of any kind. At first, I was complacent with the exercise, but I got to the point where things continued long enough where everything seems mechanical and I have quite disenchanted with the situation. I don’t want a boyfriend, but for this situation to continue, I need more friendly contact, caresses after sex, more flirting, just general warmth. Although we have known each other for a while, the emotional distance is noticeable to the point that calling him a friend seems ridiculous. I would like to do more friendly/intimate things, but I know I probably avoid these things as a way to make sure I don’t get too attached.
Lately, I have been ignoring it because of the dissatisfaction mentioned above, but it seems quite persistent about seeing me again. He is a pretty attractive guy and I am sure that if I just wanted sex I could chase whoever I wanted, so I am a little confused why he has given priority to continue seeing me when he obviously has minimal feelings. That said, I would like to continue seeing it, but I suspect that asking for more privacy would not resonate so well. What could I do/say to show him what I need in this kind of situation without him thinking that I want a relationship and scare him?
Get & Keep a Real Fuckbuddy
Edit: I feel the need to add that I REALLY don’t want a relationship, so this kind of thing is ideal right now: I’m not looking for a charming prince, because I’m at a time when I undoubtedly fuck him I like this guy, we have For a long time, we have great chemistry and we are on the same page about keeping things casual. I am not interested in any way, but I would like to suggest changing things before simply breaking things.
Hi guys, I just left my 4-month-old girlfriend for talking to her ex through messages. TL / DR at the bottom.
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I started having this strange feeling about her in my gut, and I checked her phone (great no, no, I know, but it seems that this time it was helpful). I found a conversation with one of his ex.
Now I know that these girls always have to have their orbiter, and this guy had unconvincing texts, starting a convo and saying he loves her, but these are the reasons that made me decide that this is worth breaking:
She started it. She responded to his story.
He was saying how much he respects him and how many things he has learned from him.
They were talking about some memories and the whole convo had that atmosphere of nostalgia.
She sent him a picture of herself.
I have 2 questions:
I did the right thing?
Why on earth would he invite me to meet his mother 2 weeks after talking with this guy, knowing he could branch out soon? Or was he not looking for branching and just looking for this guy’s attention?
EDIT: I appreciate all the responses of your boys. No matter how hard I tell myself that I am and such bullshit, I must admit that it is my first breakup, I lost my V card with this girl and felt a little attached to her. However, I always prioritize rationality over emotion, no matter what is happening and what I am feeling, I will always take the rational exit.
I felt sad, I still feel a little, and their answers have helped me tremendously. In the next chapter of my life … I have a lot to learn and experience. Keep it red my boys. Have a nice day and keep inspiring people like me here.
He was flirtatious with her tits and she was receptive.
She never mentioned me or had a boyfriend, although she had the opportunity to do so.
The biggest. She invited him out. I don’t know if they ever went out, because the guy had other plans and rejected her.
The whole convo started 2 weeks ago and they talked constantly during these 2 weeks, while she was going out with me
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The girl was great. Actually, the same day I heard about the messages, we had a great time, she invited me to meet her mother, I took it 3 times, cleaned my house and washed my dishes.
I think I have half the blame here. I probably did something that made her want to sway.
I met her after this and broke up with her, I told her that I’m not upset, it’s something I can’t accept. Then he sent me a great text message trying to justify his behavior and make it look like he did nothing wrong.
I will be honest, it hurts a little. She was my first girlfriend, she lost my virginity with her. But fuck buddy, I don’t like to take easy roads. As Winston Churchill would say, “if you’re going through hell, keep going.” Life goes on.
TL / DR: 4-month-old Gf starts a convo with an ex-boyfriend, sends him a picture of him, accepts flirtatious jokes from him, never mentions me even though he had the opportunity and invites him out … SHE invites him out. All this while she was acting super nice to me and inviting me to meet her mother. I point blank break with her once I find out.
As with grandmother, there are many more things that you cannot do together than you can do together. Your friend with benefits may seem like a totally calm person with whom you could hang out, but that’s a big no-no.